Here I sit another night alone filled with total sadness. Trying to fight back the tears that don't seem to want an end.
I lie down and try to close my eyes, but all I can picture is your face. The sweet face of an angel that hurt me so deeply. I can picture your soft voice saying I LOVE YOU, Good Night & Sweet Dreams. Your soft cheeks getting enlarged when you smile. Every thing reminds me of you. I look from room to room & hope I'll see you there. When I hear the door I look in anticiaption waiting for you to enter & give me a hug letting me know you care for me. My life is so empty filled with sadness & gloom in a room once that was thought to be lit by you. I can't stop this crying. I'm just hurting so bad. I really don't care about living anymore & wish I was dead. I pray to the lord when I lie down my head, please come & take me away from his pain, for I never want to feel it again. You never cared about my feelings, not even looked at me with eyes filled with affection. It was me who always said I LOVE YOU like a fool. I'm torn all apart inside & out, I'm sad & lonely & wish I was dead. I stopped taking my meds & why should I care when it was so easy for you to let go. I didn't even see you shed a tear it seemed as thou you didn't even care. I can't sleep really sometimes may be an hour or two. This is all because I LOVE YOU. Others tell me I'll heal, but never really I'll. It's not easy to forget you & to hold will. It's not easy to forget you & to hold bak my tears. I'm giving on my life now. I don't even care about living anymore. I'm sad & lonely & wish I was dead. I can't see how could you just let go. Not even a feeling in deep within your heart & soul. I put on a front when others are around, But actually I'm dead & under the ground. I've been getting this tight squeeze deep in my chest, pain in my arm & into my neck, My jaw feels like it was hit with a hammer. I know soon the almighty will tell me to lie down & rest, for he will send his angels to come & get me & take all my pain away. The pain that you caused when you ignored me that day & pain in my heart that is slowly drifting away. The breath that I'm taking are getting slower & few, And I can feel my body wreaking as i remind the picture of you. Soon I'll stop writing & lie down my head, I can feel my body getting weaker, I may soon be dead. Others told me to call a doctor when I started to feel this way, but the thought of living without you another day makes me just want to let go & fade away. But don't get me wrong, If I should close my eyes & die. The hurt that you have gifted me, I'll always carry through my eternity. Ok I must lie down no. I'm feeling weaker & weak, I just want to leave you with my final thoughts & they are as follows:
I opened up my heart to you & let you in. I never thought of your nature & likes. I just loved you for your simplicity & angel eyes, but you didn't care. You ignored me hated me as I'm a piece of crap. So saying you a heartly good bye I'm winding.
Have a happy life:)
