Holding so feircely to what i never had
Never to have kissed, only once touched your hand.
Still my heart beats out of its cage
Trapped inside gasping red ragged rage
Out of the bars I call your name
Out of the window I look for you
Although concrete blocks the view.
My fingers burning, singed at the tips
Where they twined with yours thru the fence,
Your eyes pained as i went.
Still my heart beats out of tune
Chained and shackled in prison ruins
Have i gone totally insane?
Fervently praying on fire in vain
A crazy man all the same
I fall asleep with your name!
Not a word as days came and went
A routine of expectation
Turned sour in the event
Nerves unabated given to officious release
Foolish and futile infatuation on razors of grief.
A new day risen again with hope and wait
Poised like flower buds ready to wake
Is that the postman with his arms all full?
Alas again it comes an empty satchel.
Mad to the teeth i tremble and roar
Why do I drive myself thru this door?
I curse your name! and break alegiance
Revoke my oath with black smoking grievance
But only a minute and an hour will pass
Before I fall back to relapse.
Tommorrow maybe i will be saved
By words written some yesterdays
And the buds will open and beautifully bloom
Gone the dark cloudy sea of doom.
If ever the words were enough or soon
They are forget-me-nots born in june.
They are just enough to keep me going
just enough to keep my eye
Locked on the door for the post to arrive!
And now in winters cold retreat
Worn and weary I admit defeat
I have waited much too long
To hear the sweet birds of song.
Only the seagulls laughing at me
Reminding you are out of reach
Today i look to the clear blue sky
Over the razor wire and wonder why.
The future calls and I must move on
But i take you with me when I'm gone.
Always a sparkle I remember well
Your eyes a secret I'll never tell
For that is mine and mine alone
Even if it's turned to stone.
Now are times of wandering trust
And memories that have turned to dust
Many times I banged my head to reason
Making excuses to cover your treason
Still I stand a fool of old
A beggar of dreams wrapped in gold
Please remember me in kind
And I will you for all time.
